I just saw a headline announcing HUD is going to implement smoke free policies in all public housing. I guess since the government is basically the landlord, it gets to make the rules. I was just wondering if they are going to ban filthy houses. Filthy houses are stinky, disgusting and bad for your health, too. How many other unhealthy practices (such as hoarding, etc.) are going on in the privacy of people's homes as well as other things that cause damage and increase maintenance costs? Where do you draw the line on removing people's personal freedom to make their own choices regarding what goes on in their own homes as long as it's not illegal? And who has the right to make that choice for us? Yes, they are tenants, but while they are there, that is their home. FTR, I am neither a smoker nor a proponent, just a believer in personal choice...reap the benefits or suffer the consequences. In my opinion this is just another step toward chipping away at our personal freedom.

Speaking of Gross Generalizations

I do try not to be provoked by people's political remarks on social media. I usually just shake my head and scroll on. I actually don’t even affiliate myself with a particular political party, but I just saw the picture below on my newsfeed, and it really struck me how mean it was and how sadly common these type of posts have become. While the first couple of lines may be true, the remaining part is pigeon holing and hateful disparagement of a group of people because of the name of their religion, “not because of the content of their character”. How can someone presume to know how "most white Christians" feel? Maybe there is a poll I'm not aware of? Keep in mind, the vocal extremists in any given group rarely speak for the entire group, just as hopefully the post below is not a true representation of the feelings of all who lean to the left just because it was posted by someone who calls him[her]self Go Left.
His/her remarks amount to hate mongering, plain and simple. It serves no other purpose. It’s doubtful it's going to bring about an epiphany or convince people to “come over to your side.” There is more than enough judgmental, one-sided hate speak and name calling going around, and certainly not limited to a particular side of any issue. Its end result is the perpetuation of contention and hatred rather than promoting unity or provoking thoughtful dialogue. So think before you speak or post: will these words or pictures result in anything positive? If the answer is no, it would be best to just leave it alone. Please understand, I'm not just speaking out on behalf of white Christians, but for anyone who is unjustly misrepresented. It's simply wrong to engage in gross generalizations about any group of people.
I was polite enough not to express my disagreement or comment on the poster's status, so please extend the same courtesy here. Contentious remarks will be removed.

I'm Not an Expert, but....

This is an old post from my Notes on Facebook. I know there are many who disagree with me, but obviously there are those who are like-minded. Anyway I wanted to share it here, because I personally think it's timely and relevant.

Just an observation
One of the biggest competitions (besides "Who's the Most Quirky" and "Who Has the Most Money") on FB these days seems to be Who Has the Most Spoiled, Over-indulged Children. Somewhere along the way, apparently this has become something to be proud of and brag about. "My little DIVA won't eat this or wear that or go here or there or do this or that." WON'T?  Or "Little 6-year-old Susie just HAD to have this $400 phone." WHAT? Parents used to run the family and realized their job was to be the parent, not the best friend of their children. What happened? smh
Looky here! http://mochadad.com/2009/03/10-signs-your-children-are-brats/
33 Likes
14 Comments
Gerald R Carey, Brenda Lynn Obert, Janilyn Moore Hunt and 30 others like this.

Erin Porterfield Guest It's an entire culture. The stores sell tshirts that say, "I'm a diva" or "Grandma spoils me." The ADULTS buy these things for the kids and think it's cute, then wonder where they went wrong when the kid is a brat. It's called self-fulfilling prophecy. Children tend to live up to our expectations of them and (gasp!) believe what they're told. Great post.
July 29, 2014 at 11:02am · Unlike · 6

Debra Nolen It won't be so cute when they're twenty-something and still at home because no one else wants to live with their spoiled, self-centered selves.
July 29, 2014 at 11:10am · Unlike · 6

Linda Pineda Porterfield This from a site I ran across called Extreme Parenting made me laugh:

Parent to Melt Down Kid in the grocery store: “Honey, you can’t have both, you have to make a choice. Do you want the (sugar laden, cavity causing, hyper-activity trigger) cereal (made with loads of genetically modified stuff) or do you want the (excessively salty) chips (full of saturated fatty acids that will be sure to make you a candidate for cardiovascular diseases in the future) ?”

Devil spawn gets up glares at the parent and knocks down everything on the bottom two shelves. Because it couldn’t reach any higher than that. Not effective parenting.

I say, yes give the child choices. In fact I would give the child three choices.

“I can either whoop your ass: 1 here, 2 at home or 3 you can shut up.”
July 29, 2014 at 11:16am · Like · 12


Heather Leigh Porterfield LMAO Mama! You know I completely agree on all points!
July 29, 2014 at 11:23am · Like

Heather Leigh Porterfield And I agree that this seems to have become a phenomenon. What is really strange to me is the almost down-trodden look the parent has later, followed by a silly grin: 'See how she treats me?' You know she runs the show; she's the boss!' (all laugh as if it were funny.) I never laugh. Instead, I pray that the child doesn't grow up to walk into a Luby's a machine gun everyone because they can't get the pie they wanted.
July 29, 2014 at 11:26am  · 4

Erin Porterfield Guest Lmao, Mom! My kids get those three options ALL the time!
July 29, 2014 at 11:31am · 2

Heather Leigh Porterfield Yep yep, E! lol!
July 29, 2014 at 11:39am · Like · 1

Karen Pineda Mitchell I couldn`t have said it better Linda. Lord help me if I had ever said no or talked back to my parents! I knew my limits and there were consequences if I didn`t abide by them. Alot of parents these days just let them have their way because it is easier. Lazy parenting is what it is and unfortunately they are doing way more harm then good.
July 29, 2014 at 11:54am · Like · 2

Linda Pineda Porterfield You nailed it, Karen. Lazy parenting = no consequences = rotten child = rotten adult. The downward spiral in our society is sad and scary.
July 29, 2014 at 12:51pm · Like · 1

Linda Poteet I agree.
July 29, 2014 at 1:35pm  · 2

Anita Pineda McClary lol,Linda Pineda Porterfield!
July 29, 2014 at 6:49pm · 1

Rick Pineda We were recently at a retirement party for one of our former Pastors and as people were up front sharing their hearts about how this man had affected their lives, their children's lives etc, there was a child in the back of the room running amuck,  screaming and pretty much ruining the moment for this man. The parents would occasionally pick her up and put their hand over her mouth. I guarantee one trip to the bathroom and a good swatting would have resolved the problem. But hey that's hard.
July 29, 2014 at 8:41pm · Like · 2

Linda Pineda Porterfield At the very least, if you can't or won't control your child, have enough concern for others to remove them from the area where it's distracting or ruining the occasion for others. I've had the same happen while I'm trying to video an event with a screaming child nearby whose parents are too busy trying to bargain with the child or bribe him with treats (a reward for bad behavior?) to notice or care that others are being affected . frown emoticon

July 29, 2014 at 8:50pm ·

Linda Pineda Porterfield  I just reread this post from last year, and it reminded me of a post I recently saw on FB, lamenting the fact that "children are being punished for just being human." First of all, discipline doesn't equal punishment. Children need limits and rules and they need to understand that there are CONSEQUENCES for going beyond those limits or breaking the rules. Those consequences are called discipline. If that doesn't bring about the desired results after a few times, THEN comes the punishment, because that's what it will be like when they grow up. All this is our responsibility as parents to prepare our children for the real world and mold them into the kind of responsible, productive adults whom others would want to emulate.  If you think it's okay to allow your children to do whatever (be disruptive and disrespectful to others) in the name of "just being human,"  I hope that, against the odds, they don't become "that kid" that other parents don't want their kids to play with or the one who causes adults to cringe when they know they're going to be present at a gathering. (You know the ones I'm talking about.) I hope they grow up to be someone you can be proud to call your son/daughter. JMHO
June 16, 2015 11:30am

Following is the post I'm referring to:

My Word Nazi Soapbox

Yeah, I'm on it again. Okay, I don't claim to be perfect in the spelling and grammar arena, but I do try. One could probably get out their (not they're or there) red pen on this post and put it to good use. Sometimes I just have to vent. Although I have long since learned to overlook (in fact have come to expect) misspellings, shortened versions of words and horrible grammar on Facebook (since, to quote my friend, that's where grammar and manners go to die), there are still some that have the fingernails on the chalkboard effect on me. Today it's people not putting an s on the end of words that are plural. With some exceptions (women, men, mice, etc.), almost every word that is pluralized has an s added at the end. The following are some of the ones I see most often. You should add an s to these words if you're (not your) talking about more than one: post, text, test, artist, bicyclist, hypnotist. These are just a few. Also, it's "She ASKS too many questions" not "She ask too many questions." Just because some folks don't pronounce that s on the end doesn't mean it shouldn't be there. I feel pretty sure this post will elicit nods of approval from my fellow word Nazis and little or no reaction from the rest other than maybe a few "She just needs to get over it"  or "Who really cares?" uttered to themselves. However, if I bring it to the attention of maybe one person who does actually care and says, "Oh! I didn't know that!", I will have accomplished something. I could go on and talk about how people seem to have a propensity for throwing apostrophes into random words ending with an s and leaving them out when they're (not their or there) warranted (i.e. "The dog's and cats are the mans best friend's." - EEEK!!), but I'll save that one for another day.

The corners of our minds

I've often wondered what makes certain memories from long ago so vivid and that other events from the same time period totally elude me.  I have few specific memories of my early childhood, but one that has always stuck out is my much older brother leaving the house and my mother telling him, "Be careful!" and when I tried to mimic her phrase to him, I couldn't say the word careful...I realized the r just wasn't right, and I recall repeating it several times in an attempt to get it right, without success. From that you would think I would recall when I was finally able to master the r sound, but such is not the case.

I guess what prompted these thoughts, in one of my Facebook posts, the subject was brought up of the church I attended as a child and I thought of a few isolated but vivid memories from that particular time and place. I have two clear memories of Antioch Missionary Baptist Church. One was before I could read and was just learning to sound out words. There was a scripture on the wall in my Sunday school class. I believe it said, "If we deny him, He also will deny us. 2 Timothy 2:12," and I couldn't for the life of me figure out how to pronounce d-e-n-y! It defied everything I knew about phonics (which of course was not a lot, not to mention I didn't know that word existed at the time)!  The other memory was practicing for a children's choir program or some such, and the lady in charge stopped us in the middle of the song and wanted to know who was singing harmony. I thought I was in trouble! That's when I discovered I could sing harmony. I didn't realize what it was, it was just what I was hearing and it seemed to fit. Don't know how old I was. The only other thing I remember about that church (guess that would be three things then) is that between Sunday school and Sunday worship service, the preacher and deacons would stand on the front stoop and smoke cigarettes. Of course that was "the old days" and smoking was more acceptable then.

If you're expecting me to have had some revelation on this topic and share with you the reason for this phenomenon, I have to disappoint you. I still don't know why I remember some things and not others. Maybe I'll do some research.

Family Christmas 2012

     My house was so eerily quiet when I got home from work yesterday. I did, however, see a few items that were inadvertently left behind...a cap here, a scarf there, an iPod that someone HAD to come back for! They were little reminders of what an awesome extended weekend/holiday I had surrounded by the people I love most in the whole world! All the noise and chaos was worth every second. I've learned to be okay with a disorderly house for a few days in return for the pleasure of having my precious family in my home. Even though my heat went out on Christmas Day, we survived the night with some borrowed space heaters, and the best service guy in the world was there before noon the next day to fix it. (I'll give you his name and number if you need a heating/AC man) All in all, it was a great holiday full of hugs and love and kisses, and that's what makes it for me!
     I realize it sounds cliche to say that, but I will say it until the day I pass from this life. Maybe it was the way I was raised, not having a lot materially, but always having family in abundance...eleven siblings, ten or twelve aunts and uncles and countless cousins. Family (and all the traditions that come along with it) has always been a constant in my life, my rock, my foundation. I have done my best to instill that same sense of family in my children, who will hopefully pass down that same sense of family and tradition to the next generation as well.
     I'm not sure where I was going with this, but my family was on my heart and mind and I was feeling the void after having had them with me for several days. I am also feeling saddened from losing someone in our family yesterday who was very dear to us all. This man was married to my cousin for decades and remained a large presence in our lives even after the death of my cousin a number of years ago. He continued to not only attend our family reunions, but was always there to participate and help with food preparation or wherever he was needed. Thomas Echols will be greatly missed.
      To describe my family, I would need more adjectives than I probably even know. We're quite an assortment from shy to gregarious, restrained to outspoken, reserved to flamboyant...you name it. I think we complement one another. That's what makes our family dynamic work! And while my children are blessed with an abundance of friends, their siblings remain their very best friends, and that makes me tremendously happy and proud. So maybe my point here is to hold your family dear and hold them close, because as cliche as it may sound, they will be there when no one else is. I firmly believe this is what our Creator intended to be our foundation here on this earth. So carry on those family traditions. Take advantage of and enjoy the time you have together. Make those phone calls regularly and let them know how much you love and appreciate them. Don't let yourself live to regret that you neglected to do this while you had the opportunity.

P.S. I can't recount my Christmas experience without telling this story:
        Since I (shamefully) don't subscribe to the local newspaper or listen to the local radio station, I missed the fact that trash pickup would be on Monday instead of Tuesday as normally scheduled. Well, you can imagine how much trash I had with a houseful of company and with Santa having visited Monday night! So...I contacted one of our city workers to inquire as to whether they had any extra polycarts for which I could pay to have an extra one until next pickup. He informed me that no, they in fact did not. But lo and behold, when I got home yesterday, SOMEONE had taken my overflowing cart and emptied and returned it...someone who knows the real meaning of Christmas spirit, someone I'm proud to call my friend. Thank you, John. You're the best!

My Country 'Tis of Thee...

     I chose to start a blog rather than post on Facebook since I mainly want to speak my mind and not stir controversy as is sometimes the case when I do, since I have such a diverse group of friends in that forum, some of whom can be somewhat argumentative and contentious on occasion. ;-) I am writing this not as any kind of political statement or endorsement, but just something that's been on my mind, and I am saddened by the direction our country is headed. 

     When this country was founded and our constitution subsequently established, America was known throughout the world as "the Land of Opportunity." Yes, people worldwide migrated to the USA for the OPPORTUNITY to work hard and become successful entrepreneurs, teachers, laborers and such so that they could raise their living standards, care for their families and give them a better life than they could have elsewhere. They and their families then gave back to the country that allowed them this freedom by whatever means was available to them, whether simply being good productive law-abiding citizens, helping the needy, even serving in the military, thus making every effort to become a true American. They appreciated the fact that without the opportunities afforded them by the powers that be in their new home, their hopes and dreams for themselves and their families may have been unattainable. Sadly, though America is still the Land of Opportunity, for a very large number of people, unfortunately the opportunity is to come here and take advantage of everything our government is too willing to give them for free, despite the fact many contribute nothing, and then show their appreciation for the freedoms they are given by verbally degrading and disrespecting this new home that they have CHOSEN and one of the few countries where they would even be allowed to do so. Some merely take and give nothing in return and instead of being grateful, instead of assimilating and attempting to become a genuine American and proud to be called so, they want to CHANGE this country to be more like the one they chose to leave!  Help me figure that one out!

     Let me clarify that I am very much in favor of people coming to my country to better their lives and have all the advantages that living in a free country has to offer. I would hope, though, that they have a desire to become Americans and are willing to pay on some level for that privilege, starting with being productive members of society as well as having some degree of loyalty to my country and appreciation for the opportunities extended to them by virtue of living here. 

     Sadly, in my opinion, ours is gradually becoming a nation of entitled ingrates (certainly a large percentage of whom are not immigrants, but that's a blog for another day...), enabled and perhaps even encouraged by gradually failing government leadership on all levels. The gap between the principles upon which America was founded and those on which our present day government are operated is ever increasing.  I don't have the solutions, and this is not something that happened overnight or under one particular administration. I am not at all interested in debating that issue.  Using my privilege as a voter, however, I will vote for a government that I believe promotes the best interests of the nation as a whole, not trying to divide it into minority or special interest groups who seek only to promote what they deem best for themselves. There is far too much focus on the things that make us different and divide us as a nation rather than on our commonalities and things that should unite us. This is very dangerous for our country. I cannot say with any degree of certainty that the party I vote for will fulfill my hopes for this country, but I will vote and pray for the best outcome and that a couple of years from now our country will have benefited from today's election results. God bless America!